Hello everyone!
I know most of my blogs have been about my weight loss but I'm changing my tune for today. As most of you know I was fortunate enough to be given the opportunity to attend the Betty Ford Clinic's Medical Education Program in Rancho Mirage, CA. My first thoughts were, " Oh my! The Betty Ford!" and my second was "Oh my! Palm Springs in the winter!' Little did I know, this trip would be life changing. I will try to keep this short and sweet, but don't count on it.
The Betty Ford Centre is a Certified Chemical Addiction non profit Hospital. It was opened on October 4, 1982 by Betty Ford herself and the CEO John Schwarzlose ( he came to speak to us for an hour about the history of the Betty Ford Clinic). This centre is world renowned and now I know why. They have the most amazing staff, programming, physicians and specialists. We were greeted by Joseph Skrajewski who is the Medical Education Coordinator. This guy is awesome. He was so organized and ensured that we had the best experience possible. We were given a massive binder full of resources, papers, and a schedule. The schedule was started the moment we were picked up from the hotel at 6:45 to 6:00 at night when we ate dinner at the centre. The first day was 14 hours. WOW.
We had a brief orientation and then were assigned "patient buddies" and "counsellor buddies." I walked into the "Eva Pocklington" building (Yes, Peter Pocklington's wife has an entire building named after her) at 8:30 am Monday morning. I walked in past several women unaware of who was a patient or a staff member. I was with two other women in my program and we migrated to the side of the area awaiting our assignments I was instantly drawn to one of the women. She almost immediately came up to us and introduced herself (still unaware if she is a patient of staff). She then asked the Tech (staff) who she was buddied with while keeping an eye on me and me on her. The Tech said Lisa is your "buddy" and it instantly clicked. She was the heart and soul of my beautiful Aunt Nancy. She reminded me of her so much and there was a great comfort in that in that moment. I knew this woman was meant to be my ``buddy`` for the week. My "buddy" showed me around and took me to the lecture hall where all of the patients meet to listen to a lecture ranging from musical meditation, spirituality, love, communication styles etc. My "buddy" then advised me the first small therapy group we were going to was Grief. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! Anyone that knows me as a counsellor, knows that grief is my most dreaded topic. I really struggle with grief and it makes me uncomfortable. It was then I realized I was here to be challenged in a big way. So I sat in a group with 6 woman who all spoke openly about their losses and then provided each other feedback discussing how they can relate and thanking each other for sharing their stories. Grief group ended up being just fine. : )
Throughout the week I realized the foundation of the Betty Ford, being the 12 step program. Coming from a harm reduction model I wondered how I would fit in, I wondered what I would say when everyone including the counsellor introduces themselves as "(Their name), alcoholic, addict." Having no addiction issues, this made me nervous. Instead, I introduced myself as Lisa, an Addiction Counsellor from Canada and from there discussed my experience professionally and mentioned extended family suffering from addiction as well.
Each day we participated as patients in the halls with the woman. I retained the same group of women ranging from ages 25 to 70 throughout the week. I got to know these women well. They were open and honest sharing their darkest moments, days and secrets. I admired that about them. I realized that during that week I was extremely uncomfortable talking about my feelings amongst people I barely knew. I thought "UHHH Hello! I'm the counsellor! I don't share that shit!" only to realize that, this week I was NOT the counsellor, but the patient. I eventually shared how nervous, anxious and uncomfortable I was talking about my "feelings" as I never do that. EVER. I find that I mostly say what I'm thinking, not what I'm feeling and I feel a lot of the Medical Education group realized that about themselves too. So as the week went on, I learned more and more about the women in my group and witnessed each of them grow and open up more each day. I saw one woman who came there a broken, empty shell of a human having just lost her husband to cancer and using pills and alcohol to grieve. By day 4 I saw some life to her, I saw her smile and put on make up and I witnessed her share her feelings. Her words to me during my coin out ceremony (each woman puts a positive thought into a coin and says goodbye) were, " You are an inspiration and you inspire me just looking at you." So sweet. I hope she can deal with her grief and focus on her recovery these next 30 days.
Since I've been back I've been asked "Did you see any celebrities?! The answer is no "A" listers, no. However, I am positive there were several people there that were "famous" within their communities. Of course the population there is typically "the rich," people that can afford 32,000 to 72,000 dollars for treatment. The thing I realized, however, is it doesn't matter if you come from money or you are a bum on the streets. You have the same disease/issue, that being addiction. You can have your 7000 sq-ft house, your Bentley, your driver, private plane and rich husband or you can have your blanket, street corner that you sleep, and back pack with nothing in it. It doesn't matter. Addiction is addiction. These women were humble, open, honest and wanted help. Anyone that we see in treatment or coming in for a counselling session are all there for one thing. They want help. That was humbling.
I could go on forever. I had more than one special, life changing moment last week. I have never been so inspired in my life. As part of the Camel ceremony I was to speak in front of the larger group as to what my hope was and why I was there. I mentioned the tattoo on my wrist that says "Inspire." I knew I had gotten that tattoo for a reason and I said, " I got this tattoo on my wrist in 2010 to remind me to inspire people everyday. I cannot inspire anyone unless I am inspired myself and it is women like you and my clients at work that do this for me, so thank you" My hope was that I would leave a better counsellor and I believe that to be true. I learned the importance of communicating in my personal life and I learned that it is mother f'ing tough to sit in front of strangers and talk about yourself, something I will keep in mind when running my own group therapy.
I will never forget my experience last week. I saw lectures by several world renowned Physicians and Program Directors and people that were passionate about their own recovery and the job they do at Betty Ford. I was educated more thoroughly on the 12 steps, and confirmed that it works. I was given more tools to put in my counsellor tool box so I can better serve the individuals I work with, I was reminded about the importance of family, and that addiction is a family disease and I learned how addiction affects children. (I will link a YouTube video from Jerry Moe, the Children's Program Director. This man is amazing, I highly suggest watching his video) I learned the impact of therapy dogs, Al Anon, AA, pain management, trauma, multi disciplinary team work, meditation, fitness, spirituality and healthy living in recovery as well, just to name a few more.
I will never forget these women and how much of an impact they had on my life. I will never forget my buddy and how she exuded warmth, beauty, compassion, kindness and reminded me of someone I care so much about. More importantly, I will never forget how my buddy allowed me to grieve something I have never grieved before and how comforting that was. Inspired is the perfect word. Professionally and Personally.
I would like to say thank you to the team of corrections workers, pharmacists and Nancy, the judge for being part of that journey with me, as I believe only we will know the true impact of that program, having done it together. More importantly, Scarlett and Dallas for debriefing my days with me every evening. I literally would have been lost without you two.
Congrats if you have read this all. ; )
Jerry Moe Children's Program
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PgKDM0EYHU
Love is compassion for that which is vulnerable.
Love is unified by our flaws, not our assets.
- Charles Harper
